Lebanon and the Caliphate

There is a slightly deranged rooster in my neighborhood. For over three weeks now, the bird has been crowing at every hour except dawn. At first, we thought it was joking or suffering from a severe case of jet-lag, cock-a-doodle-dooing to a different time zone. Or maybe it was trying, still trying, to tell us something loud and clear…that the Caliphate was here.

Seizing city after city in Iraq and Syria (and counting), along with a major Iraqi oil-field, all under the undoubtedly wise leadership of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, aka Caliph Ibrahim, this so-called Islamic State (emanating from the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria – ISIS) seemed to be for real. The nomination of Abdel-Aziz Mohammad Abdel-Salam al-Urduni as “emir of Lebanon,” whose annexation to the caliphate appears to be a given, couldn’t come as better news. After months of deadlock, at least now, Lebanon had a new “president.”

Emanating from foreign intervention or yet another Middle Eastern conspiratorial nightmare, people in Lebanon seemed eager to enjoy their last moments of freedom in a free and open republic before the caliphs and emirs came slaying us all down, kuffars, Sunni opponents of the caliphate, rawafid, atheists… mainly all those lost and hopelessly sinning souls, stuck in the artificially constructed borders imposed by colonial powers almost a century ago…

…but yes, you are right, there isn’t anything funny about this, the establishment of a medieval theocracy at a time when the whole world moves towards greater separation between religion and state (except in the Middle East, where we are always a step behind in almost everything that matters…). It is even more tragic when we think of ISIS’s bloody track record, making other similar fundamentalist organizations moderate in comparison. It has not been funny for those who have already suffered in Lebanon, been injured or died because of them or organizations supposedly linked to them, forcing their antiquated dreams on the innocent. But I, and many others have resorted to humor for just a little bit, because we believe that this is but a dream, a very black cloud over us, as black as the flag that they bear, which will never have any ground to be hoisted here in Lebanon…

You can make your utopic gruesome dream come true elsewhere. One thing is for sure, even for those who have chosen to believe, in God and in the forces of the supernatural unknown, some people in the 21st century still cannot handle religion…

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